Stress + rest = growth
How resting might be the most productive thing you could ever do!
Stress + rest = growth. It’s a simple yet profound guide to structuring your days, weeks, and years.”
I struggle to rest.
I love working, achieving and feeling productive.
For many years after coming out of rehab for drug abuse. I became so diligent in my desire to be better that I survived by over-working, over-studying and over-committing. It was a lifeline that protected me from relapsing.
I didn’t want to give up the lifeline that had served me so well.
When I entered new work arenas, I thrived because I was the hardest worker. I would come in early, produce more than anyone else, have a better attitude, and I just wanted to win… I mean who wouldn’t love me… HAHA
During an ‘interesting’ two-year stint, I remember waking up at 4 am to go to the gym, be back for 6 am, study for 2 hours before going to work from 9–5 and then leading meetings from 7–10 pm most weekdays. This got me a second degree within a year and a half and opened the door for me to get a role in one of the most prestigious institutions in my field.
I AM NOT ADVOCATING FOR NOT WORKING HARD.
Even now, after what I am about to say to you. I would say I am the hardest working person I know. I am just smarter about how hard I work, and I want to encourage you to be too!
When I moved into the new position, Wellwater and London’s leadership podcast began within the same year. I was now carrying three new projects simultaneously, and my previous working pattern began to break apart. Not even Superman could handle that routine… well, maybe Superman could…. Hawkeye couldn’t though.
Nevertheless, I wanted to work hard. Still, I knew that there must be a more sustainable and healthier way of doing things.
I began to investigate and learn everything I could on how to take care of myself while being productive. I read Deep work by Cal Newport, Peak performance by Brad Stulberg and The power of full engagement by Tony Schwartz and many similar books and the revelation of rest was endowed upon me.
Side note — I had to burnout like twice before I fully accepted the need to rest (even after reading the books)
Side-side note — It took me about three years of testing different methods and techniques and sharpening the ones I am going to give you today.
BE PATIENT. TRY IT. DON’T GIVE UP.
In recent weeks, Wellwater has been working towards a sizeable fundraising goal. The team is 100% volunteer-led. All of us have full-time jobs and teams to lead. As I write this, we are halfway into the goal, we are doing well, but we still have some way to go. More than ever, I am realising the importance of healthy rest cycles and daily and weekly rhythms to help me be my best when I am with the team to help them be their best.
Nicky Gumbel, a central London Clergyman, said this, in his advice to taking rest “divert daily, withdraw weekly, abandon annually.”
I am going to give my best advice on how to do this for you to be able to give everything you have and be able to sustain it!
Divert Daily
The daily rhythm is the first step in preparing a healthy pattern.
I am going to share with you my daily rhythm during the lockdown, which has served me well.
I am going to go into a little bit of detail as I was always eager to find out why people do what they do, so I am going to give you my workday break down and an explanation as to why I do what I do when I do it.
Tip: I schedule ALL of these times in the diary.
I like what Brad Stulberg wrote in Peak performance
“Great performers never just hope they’ll be on top of their game. Rather they actively create the specific conditions that will elicit their personal best.”
1. Wake up at the same time every day (workday at least)- 6:30 am
Have an alarm in your room that is NOT YOUR PHONE.. have this alarm a distance from your bed which forces you to stand up.
This time just worked for me, choose a time that gives you a minimum of 8 hours of SLEEP, not hours in bed time. More on sleep later.
Make your bed every morning. When you do this, you will have achieved one thing before your day has even begun.
2. Have a morning ritual — 6:30–7:30 am
I have found that taking a slow morning ritual works far better for me than rushing into my workday or workout.
I pray and read the bible for the first 50 minutes of my day, every day. This helps focus my attention on what’s most important! You could meditate, reflect or simply jump to the next step
I also journal my feelings and emotions in the morning. This has helped me to be in tune with who I am and what I am experiencing in the moment. It has also allowed me to be more present with myself and in my interactions with people.
I write three gratitude’s in the morning, every morning in my journal. Being grateful has transformed my emotional and mental wellbeing as I begin the day looking at what I do have rather than what I don’t have.
3. Go for a short work out — 7:30 am-8:15 am
This short work out helps me to wake up and get my creative juices flowing.
Let your mind wander as to the things you have to do that day. You will be surprised at all the great ideas you get during this time.
Divert daily has begun. This is my first daily divert. Think of this as a car; you don’t want to start at your max capacity, work your way into a mode to get your best work done.
4. DEEP WORK — 8:30 am — 9:30 am, or ideally 10:30 am.
Now, this is the time where I will do my most important work.
Deep work is about concentrating on work that requires your undivided attention
Cal Newport defines deep work as “Professional activities performed in a state of distraction-free concentration that push your cognitive capabilities to their limit. These efforts create new value, improve your skill, and are hard to replicate.”
Do not allow yourself to get sucked into email, social media, texts before you have done deep work! This is the work that matters. Once you have achieved deep work, you will already be ahead in your day.
Adam Grant wrote in a NY Times article “Productivity is not about time management but about attention management.”
Your attention is a finite resource. Most researchers now say that we only have 90 minutes of focused attention a day! … YES, A DAY! What are people doing for the rest of the time? Scrolling the internet… writing a sentence here or there… and then cramming all their work at the last minute because the pressure forces the focus.
Be free from that.
Our attention is best at the start of the day before the distractions of the world have gripped our minds. Use it and use it wisely!
Having only 60–90 minutes, four days a week, I was able to write all my assignments and dissertation for my masters. It is incredible what you can do when you schedule this time and protect it.
5. Breakfast — 10:30- 11 am
Some of you may be wondering why this is so late… I have been intermittent fasting during the lockdown, and I have found it to be useful. I do a 16/8 cycle, so
I eat from 10:30 am-6:30 pm and fast the rest of the time.
Well … I try to…
I Fail most days at night
But do better in the mornings
Give it a go?
6. Admin/meeting time 11am — 12pm
As I have worked my mind during deep work time, it is now time to ease my mind into emails, texts and any other activity that does not require much brainpower.
Here I will go through my to-do list’s — I follow the GTD methodology, and I use the Todoist app.
I can know what to work on and when to work on it because I do a weekly review of all my work on a Sunday to prepare me for the week. This review takes typically three hours, but it is an excellent investment. For more information, look up the GDT methodology. I interviewed David Allen, the author of the book on London’s leadership podcast too if you want a 20 min download of everything from the book.
Thank me later.
7. Walk and read 12 pm — 1 pm
By now, I have thought creatively and exhausted my attention; I have smashed out emails and administration tasks or been in a few meetings. I now have a hard finish to my morning by going for a walk.
No matter what I am doing, I go for this walk and pause. Divert daily, again!
I do not take my phone! I allow my mind to wander, and I intentionally walk slowly, I take in my surroundings. I have been amazed at the ideas I get during this time.
You might say you are too busy to take a walk in the middle of the day; I would say you are too busy not to take this walk. This is an investment in your capacity to think, create and plan.
Cal Newport once again said
“Our most profound ideas, it seems, tend to come from the small spaces in between our otherwise deliberate thinking: when our brains are at rest.”
Trust me, take this walk. Thank me later.
I also like to read something challenging when I come back from my walk. I do this because I am trying to improve my writing, so I need to learn from the best. I am currently reading Jordan Peterson’s 12 rules of life… again.
8. Admin/meeting time 1pm — 1:30pm
9. Lunch — 1:30pm- 2pm
10. Admin/meeting — 2pm-4pm
By this time in the day, I have no more attention to write or create so now I just set time out to do the bits and pieces of work and life that just need to get done.
I try to schedule my meetings for this time as I can handle those well without needing to create, and I can bounce off people well.
11. CrossFit training — 4 pm — 5:30 pm
Yes, I train twice a day most days … other than Thursday and Sundays.
This is my third daily divert!
At 4 pm on the dot, I walk out.
Having hard finishes like these help me to do what I need to get done in the allocated time. If I felt as though I have all day to do something, then it will take me all day to do it. As I know at certain times, I need to leave the house, and the added incentive allows me to get more done.
Leaving the house for walks and training has allowed me to get more headspace and not feel so trapped by the pressure of lockdown. I could only begin doing this once we were allowed to leave the house more than once.
Set hard finishes to tasks, even if it is email and admin work.
12. Dinner 5:30–6 pm
13. Last meeting 7–8:30
Due to my work with people, I tend to have a meeting every weeknight, well from Monday — Thursday.
These gatherings are primarily people-focused, but I often lead these, by teaching or hosting, which is tiring and requires a reboot of energy.
I can do this, after a long day, week in, week out because of the daily rhythm and the purposefully taken breaks in the day to restore and replenish my energy.
I never cancel meetings, and I am never double-booked, If I am somewhere, I am present and giving it my all.
14. Bedtime ritual — 9:30- 10:30pm
At 9:30 pm, I switch off all devices and disconnect from the world.
I do this as I want to begin to wind down my brain from the day’s activities.
I used to struggle to sleep, but since I began to have a bedtime ritual, I now sleep really well!
During this time, I brush my teeth, get everything ready for the morning, so that when I wake up, I am one step ahead.
I journal again, this time I recap on how my day went, I note how I felt, what went well, what didn’t go well. I try to pay attention to what’s on my mind and write it down. This has helped me grow in self-awareness, and it has enabled me to reflect and grow from even the smallest of details. I now have over four years’ worth of journals. It is incredible to look back and see how much I have grown.
It has been said “The best time to plant a tree was twenty-five years ago. The second-best time is today.”
If you have not started journaling, begin today!
At night, I also write three things I am grateful. This way, I encapsulate my day in gratitude. I began by being grateful, and I end by grateful. Try to think of new things to be grateful for each evening and morning. When this becomes a habit, you will begin to live a more joy-filled and content life.
I then carry on reading my book. I read until I begin to feel my eyes get heavy. I have found that reading before bed is essential for a good night’s sleep. Have the book by your bed, read something you like!
This whole ritual takes me to about 10:20 pm
15. Sleep at least to 8hours a night
Just do it
No, you are not Elon Musk
Yes, maybe a tiny percentage of people can survive on 6 hours of sleep. They are only surviving. I want you to thrive. I have done a degree on 5 hours sleep, and I felt terrible, no peace, no joy, felt empty, disconnected and hated life.
Sleep 8 hours a night, and you will be more effective in the 90 minutes of focused attention you do have.
Sleep 8 hours and you will feel more content
Sleep 8 hours a night and you will have better ideas
Sleep 8 hours a night and you will be a better person to be around
Sleep 8 hours a night and you will feel stronger and fitter in your workouts
Sleep 8 hours a night and you will have the winning hand over depression and anxiety
Please just do it. You are not losing time by sleeping. You are saving time, and you are investing in yourself and your brainpower.
Side note — I recently bought a memory foam mattress, a big super king-size one. That was a bit extra, but I gave myself the excuse that I want it to last for when I am married, so I bought a big one in advance. Anyway, what I meant to say was, a good mattress matters. It has done wonders for my sleep. You spend half your life on a mattress, invest in a good one… a really good one. You will not regret it!
Side-side note — I also bought a beautiful bed frame. It feels good going to bed in a nice bed that you look forward to seeing.
Side-side-side note haha — buy duck down or goose down covers and pillows. Trust me, just do it.
Picture it… At night after a long day’s work, you head to a beautiful bed, where an amazing mattress with neatly tucked in (duck down) covers are waiting for you! You will be preparing yourself for the best 8 hours of restoration your body could ever ask for.
Thank me later.
Withdraw weekly
Every Friday, I withdraw from all work-related activities. I switch off my phone, and I do not look at email, I wake up late, I don’t do deep work, I don’t follow any routine. I rest!
This is my favourite day of the week.
Not because I don’t have to do anything.
But because I know I am resting and investing in my brain and body to produce more in the future. It is a discipline which I have learnt to love. At first, it was extremely challenging to do this. I made excuses every week as to why it wasn’t possible, as to why I had to do something on that day.
But when I read this, it’s as if I was being kicked in my heart…
In the biblical narrative of creation, whether you believe in it or not doesn’t really matter, let us focus on the story…
God creates the universe, the world and everything in it. The light, the stars, the animals, the trees, the mountains, the landscapes, the beauty… He made everything. Hard work, right? Well, he is God so he should be able to…. But then the book of Genesis says this…
Genesis 2:2–3
2 And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. 3 So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.
John Mark Comer, in his brilliant book — The Ruthless elimination of hurry gave this conviction:
You might be a doctor — God rested
You might have seven children and a full-time Job — God rested
You might be doing a PhD — God rested
You might be doing three jobs — God rested
You might be preparing for competition — God rested
You might be the president — God rested
You get the idea… if God rested… You probably could too.
If God almighty can take a day off, I think you can too.
Understanding that really helped me make the leap to making Friday the day I withdraw weekly.
You can call it a weekly retreat. Some call it a Sabbath, or a day off. Call it whatever you like but take it!
Taking this day has several benefits:
1. You can push yourself to be diligent in keeping your routine every other day because you can see the finish line and know that rest is coming.
Most people give up on routines and structure because they think they won’t be able to follow them for the rest of their lives.
This is not the right way to look at it.
Follow the structure as best you can but schedule in days when you deliberately break it and rest. This will fuel you to be able to follow it more consistently and for more extended periods of time.
2. You can work as hard as possible every other day on tasks and activities because you know that rest is coming.
A point to add, most people who do not make this a priority in their rhythm of life are choosing to live a life working at a constant 40%-50% of their capacity.
They are reluctant to push themselves because they feel tired and don’t want to overdo it, and they end up needing to rest more throughout their week.
People think that by taking a whole day off they are losing time, but it’s the opposite which is true. When you do not take this day, you are working at a slower pace every other day, which overall means you lose more days and hours of work time by working at a slower rate than had you have just taken the full day of rest.
I have found that by taking this day, I can work at 90% every other day knowing that I can completely recharge with my 8 hours of sleep but also with my FULL SABBATH day of rest.
3. You set an example to your team
Your team need to know that it is ok for them to take care of themselves and their emotional and mental health. By you as the leader leading by example, your team members might have the courage to do it too.
I tell all my team that Friday’s I am unreachable unless it is an absolute emergency. At first, some would still contact me and message me, but after a while, they began to respect that time.
Cal Newport — “People will usually respect your right to become inaccessible if these periods are well defined and well-advertised, and outside these stretches, you’re once again easy to find.”
Some points to add,
- This day is not a chores day
- This day is not an errands day
- SWITCH OFF YOUR DEVICES
- DON’T GO ON SOCIAL MEDIA
- This day is a REST day
- This day is a day to do the things you love
- This day is a cheat day (EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT)
Please take this day
Retreat weekly
Thank me later!
Abandon annually
Now I have been terrible at this.
Partly because I hate the time it takes to plan and book a holiday.
The last two holidays I was able to go on were planned for me, and all I had to do was pay the money. They were GREAT!
This academic year has been huge! I completed my masters, I will be ordained into the church of England, Wellwater grew by 500%, I moved house, I got a promotion at work, I was accepted to be a Global shaper in London, I was recognised as one of Marshal Goldsmiths 100 coaches, I started writing, and now as I come to the end of the academic year, I am on a final stretch towards the 1st of August for our fundraising challenge. I have decided that on the 3rd of August I will be on abandon mode!
Most people are excellent at taking holidays. Most probably love taking them too much.
I would strongly suggest that you take a holiday only once you have achieved something. A lot of people will argue with me, and even reading it, it doesn’t sound right but bear with me.
If we take holidays without achieving something, we are rewarding ourselves for underachieving. If you plan a holiday after a period of working hard, then go for it! If you go on holiday every other month because you enjoy ‘travelling’, I think you should reconsider how you feel about this. Do not train yourself not to work hard. Train yourself to work hard by rewarding yourself with well-earned daily, weekly and annual breaks!
Anyway. That’s beside the point. But abandon annually when you have done something, not before.
So how to abandon?
DISCONNECT
No phone
No email
No what’s app
NO SOCIAL MEDIA… PLEASE … PLEASE NO SOCIAL MEDIA….
No social media… seriously
Take nothing with you which will tempt you back into a work mentality.
Change your environment, go somewhere new, do something new.
I doubt many people struggle with this section so I will just keep it short!
Conclusion
Stress + rest = growth. It’s a simple yet profound guide to structuring your days, weeks, and years.”
Divert daily — structure elite days with planned breaks. You only have 90 minutes of attention time; use them wisely!
Retreat weekly — Take a day of rest — no phone, no work, no chores, eat whatever you like, follow no structures!
Abandon annually — Once you have achieved something you are proud of go somewhere new, NO TECHNOLOGY, NO SOCIAL MEDIA and nothing else that will take your mind to work life.
I hope this helps you be the hardest working person you know!
