Lead by example
Five things I have learnt are essential to be an example in!
Since Wellwater’s began, I have been on the most incredible learning experience of my life. You couldn’t pay to learn this stuff! It has and is a privilege to get to be a part of this team of incredible, talented and visionary leaders.
The reason I started writing these blogs was to capture my learning in the hopes that it would help others learn from my mistakes.
Today I am going to share my experience of the absolute necessity of the leader, leading by example.
Just before we begin … I want to say that I am 100000% still learning how to do all these things.
I am not writing this because I have mastered every aspect.
I am trying my best to live up to these ideals. I am just very aware that these are the ideals that I need to live up to.
I have noticed that when these ideals are expressed, the team thrives a bit more. But when one or more of these are broken, the team faces the consequences.
The leader is the lid to all these aspects; if the leader doesn’t live up to them, no one else will.
- Be an example of integrity
“The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
I know that there are people in high positions who lack integrity.
In some cases, it almost seems like you need to be able not to have integrity to thrive. CRAZY.
I genuinely believe that this success is fleeting.
It will come and go, and those people will be forgotten or remembered for the wrong reasons.
I believe that real leadership — one which is moved by a desire to inspire, motivate, develop, transform and impact the world and those we lead can only happen when the leader lives a life of integrity.
What do I mean by integrity?
- Integrity is being the same person when nobody is watching as to when the spotlight is on you.
One of the things I most love about Wellwater is the fact that we are like a family.
We meet up for things unrelated to work. We are genuine friends.
We know each other’s lives.. sometimes a bit too much… but I guess that’s family.
I have understood that I cannot pretend when I am in Wellwater mode as these people know me…. I cannot pretend to say things I don’t mean, I cannot exaggerate the truths, and I cannot tell them to do something I am not doing.
I think this has been a critical part of our team’s success in building a culture which we love.
You know it, and I know it, people can sense when someone is not who they say they are.
It stinks.
Like literally, it makes people feel uncomfortable.
You probably know someone like this, they talk and act differently when people are watching, but when you see them alone, they are almost unrecognisable.
DON’T BE LIKE THIS. PEOPLE KNOW. YOUR TEAM KNOWS.
How to live with integrity?
- Don’t do anything that you would be ashamed of if people found out
- Treat every person you encounter with the same level of respect
- Be vulnerable about your shortcomings
If you are ashamed of who you are when nobody is watching, work on it. I went to counselling for three years to begin working on myself.
I want to encourage you. Lead with integrity.
Be the same person all the time. People value this and will volunteer to follow you for a long time.
Be an example of integrity.
2. Be an example of taking responsibility
Peter Drucker wrote, “Management has no power. Management has only responsibility.”
Your team notice everything you do.
There is no point pretending something didn’t happen.
They might not bring it up, but they know.
Any seed of doubt that you allow to grow in the team will not serve you or the team well. Uproot that seed before it begins to take roots.
Admit your mistakes. Apologise.
Your team will respect you for it.
Then they too will know that it is ok to make mistakes, but it is necessary to admit to them and apologise.
I have had to apologise many times to the team.
One of the things I fail on more times than I would like to admit is my desire to do everything at 100 miles per hour. This means I don’t think through things well enough, and often the team is left to pick up the pieces of my ill-thought-out plans.
I have noticed though that people forgive if you are willing to take responsibility but hostile when you deny or evade your errors.
Il repeat it… ADMIT YOUR MISTAKES… TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS… APOLOGISE!
I had also noticed that when I began to do this, the team also saw the need to do it too.
Different members of the team would reflect on their behaviours and apologise to the team for their actions. The team would, of course, forgive them, and we would move on stronger than before.
This more than anything I think builds unity.
When your team begins to apologise to each other… sincerely. You can tell that there is a deep love and bond in the team because they do not want to let each other down.
This starts with you.
Lead by example in the way you take responsibility.
3. Be an example of excellence
“Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. In other words, what you do for a living is much less important than how you do it.” ― Cal Newport, So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love
You are the thermometer of the performance in your team.
If you do mediocre work, so will your team
If you leave things half done, so will your team
If you or ok with losing, so will your team
If you settle for less, so will your team
You may be gifted with a person who strives for excellence more than you.
Treasure them because…
IF YOU DO NOT IMPROVE, THEY WILL LEAVE.
Although the other members of your team will have different gifts and talents and be better than you in certain aspects, it is still up to you to lead the way in striving for excellence.
What do I mean by excellence?
Honestly doing the best you can — day in and day out.
It is essential to strive for excellence but not perfection.
Michael J. Fox once remarked, “I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”
This was important in the recent weeks in Wellwater. We were aiming for a huge goal! More than we thought was possible. I could sense the team were afraid of the significant number, and a few wanted to give up before we had even begun.
I needed to be able to show the team that it could be done.
It was vital for them to see me walking the talk.
I was the first one out of 69 people who took part in the fundraising challenge to reach the individual goal and not only that I surpassed it….. two weeks before the deadline.
This showed the team that it was possible and motivated them to do the same.
Now many of the team who at first wanted to make the goal smaller are all smashing their personal goals, and the charity as a whole is thriving because of it.
The team needs to see the leader doing their best as this will motivate them to do their best.
IT SOUNDS SIMPLE, BUT I GUARANTEE YOU… MANY LEADERS DO NOT DO THIS!
BUT! Excellence extends further than when there is a looming deadline.
Excellence is also essential in the details….
Don’t be late
Don’t cancel meetings (I don’t think I have ever cancelled a meeting with anyone in the team since we started)
Be focused when you are in the room
Take notes
Follow up
Your team is watching how you do the big things but also how you do the little things.
You are the thermometer of performance in your team.
If there is low performance, it is your fault — no one else’s.
Be an example of excellence.
4. Be an example of a great attitude
“Exceptional people have a special talent for converting life’s setbacks into futures successes”- Carol Dweck
I like what John Maxwell writes on attitude
Great talent + rotten attitude = bad team
Great talent + bad attitude = average team
Great talent + average attitude = good team
Great talent + good attitude = great team
I would add
Great talent + great attitude = World-changing team
Cultivating a great attitude in the team is one of the hardest things I have found to do.
Team members have different backgrounds, life experiences, predispositions, and it is the role of the leader to understand each team member to learn how to fan into flame their attitude.
Note….Let’s just face it — no matter how hard you try to fan …. Some fires are never going to light. Let those people go.
What do we mean by great attitude?
Positivity
Enthusiasm
Fun
A growth mindset
Works hard and is willing to go above and beyond
What is a bad attitude?
Negative
Low energy
Disengaged
Sees the flaws so doesn’t want to try
Wants to do as little as possible to get by
You can have talented people with bad attitudes! In my experience, if they are not willing to grow in this area, it is better to let them go too. It is far better to have people with less experience and better attitudes!
Attitude is something that you need to teach.
People are watching how you react to bad news, a defeat, a setback, hard work and a challenge.
USE THESE MOMENTS TO TEACH –
How have you overcome something similar before?
How do you look for the good in the bad?
How do you think about the long term instead of the short term?
Why is it important to be consistent?
Attitude takes time to teach, but you must be an example in it. People need to see it in action and see the fruits of it if they are to take it on.
In Wellwater we have had core team members leave, gossiping, promised work not delivered, goals not reached….. and on and on and on.
We have had our fair share of problems.
I have noticed that my reaction to this problem is the definition of the attitude in our team.
If I get defeated, the team will be defeated.
If I get upset, the team will be upset.
If I moan and complain about how hard everything is…. The team will… you get the idea.
BUT!
If I learn from a setback, the team will want to learn from setbacks
If I manage my emotions, the team will learn to manage their emotions
If I embrace a challenge and am optimistic about difficulties…. The team will…. HAVE A GREAT ATTITUDE!
How you respond to the problems is how you teach attitude.
Be an example of a great attitude.
5. Be an example of fearlessness
David Goggins said “Fear is just a feeling! We should all learn what we are running from and why. Fear makes us take the easiest path in life. It takes us on routes that only focus on the known never the unknown. Use fear as a tool to keep you sharp and focused!
In our culture, it feels like taking the easy route is hardwired into everything we do.
From the games we play (you can choose to play on amateur level or world-class. Most people play amateur to feel like they can win)
To the way we live (giving everyone awards for merely taking part)
I have learnt through Wellwater that to accomplish something meaningful in the world, hard work is essential.
Every day
Even when you don’t feel like
You need to do the things you don’t like
You need to step outside of your comfort zone
AND YOU NEED TO TAKE PEOPLE WITH YOU TO DO THE SAME
At Wellwater, one of our core values is constant growth. To live this out we do a challenge every year that will stretch us, one year we did Tough Mudder, the next we did a sprint triathlon, and this year we will be walking 2000km as a team.
These challenges have helped the team to face their fears and understand that what they thought was impossible can be accomplished.
The hard work is now making it a habit in every person in the team to face their fears and do the hard things regularly.
Let’s face it… that is not what anyone signs up for when joining a charity….., but it is the best habit to learn.
At Wellwater, we want to raise leaders who change the world by eliminating poverty.
If we want people who change the world…. We need to be fearless.
It is very hard to do though…..
We all want the easy life…..
We want the path of least resistance….
We want to ignore our demons…..
We want instant gratification rather than long term satisfaction….
IT IS YOUR JOB TO SHOW YOUR TEAM WHAT THEY NEED NOT WHAT THEY WANT
And what they need….to be a responsible and competent person in life is to be fearless.
They need to know that life is hard
They need to face and embrace the path of resistance, where they are just outside their comfort zone
They need to face and conquer their demons
They need to forgo instant gratification and work for long term satisfaction
So you need to lead in each of those areas.
How to teach to be fearless:
- You need to talk about how you have overcome and are overcoming difficulties in life
- You need to actively put yourself outside of your comfort zone and NOT BE AFRAID OF FAILURE — show your team that it is ok to fail and to learn from it!
- You need to show them how to face their demons and conquer them because this will make them stronger and more confident
- You need to teach them why waiting, patience and hard work overtime are the real keys to joy.
But you do this by living it out!
This is how you teach them to be fearless. By you being fearless!
Be an example of fearlessness.
To conclude
Be an example of integrity: Be the same person in public and in private. People can tell if you’re a fraud.
Be an example of taking responsibility: Apologise…own up for your mistakes. You will be giving permission for your team to do the same.
Be an example of excellence: You are the thermometer of performance in your team. Work how you would want your team to work.
Be an example of a great attitude: Great talent + rotten attitude = bad team. Great talent + great attitude = World-changing team
Be an example of fearlessness: Show your team what they need, not what they want. What they need often comes on the other side of their fears.
I hope this helps you be a little bit better x
